Things I've learned today

I'll make this short and sweet:

1)Doing crunches after one has neglected them for a long period of time leads to a sore feeling in the abdominal area. Go figure.

2)Missing my morning dose of caffeine which I have unexpectedly become addicted to right under my own nose makes me come dangerously close to falling asleep in class.

3) Eating meat is really, really gross. Now, just take a minute and hear me out here. The meat industry in this country is SERIOUSLY under-regulated. They get away with any goddamn thing they want. I don't want to get preachy here but please just trust me...my medical geography class has reinforced my opinions and opened my eyes to the utterly foul practices in meat production. Hey, let's play some quick trivia!! How many rat hairs and insect pieces are allowed per shipment of processed meat products? Answer: if the question is HOW MANY are allowed and not ARE ANY allowed, the answer is TOO FUCKING MANY. Next question: What law did George Dubya wish to repeal in order to save money for the influential meat industry lobbyists? Answer: The law which required Salmonella testing for SCHOOL LUNCH MEAT. Aw, screw those kids, the meat industry wants to save a couple million bucks this year!!

Anyway. Off my soapbox now.

4) I shouldn't have come to my China History class today. It's the day after the test, and we're having stupid presentations, and guess what I'm doing. Yep...writing this.

OK, maybe that wasn't as short as I'd hoped, but it's used up a good chunk of my time which otherwise would have been spent dozing off or reading somethingawful.com, so that's good. OK. Bye.

My first all-nighter and the damage done

So that last post I made was probably about 2 hours before I started going totally insane, and ended up pulling my first ever all-nighter for school purposes. My paper turned out to be 25 pages (the maximum amount it could be). "18 page minimum??", I must have thought to myself unconsciously, "Why, that's not nearly enough to show how smart I am! I can't wait to write even MORE and stay up ALL NIGHT LONG!!!" Sigh. I am an idiot. But I finished, and that's a huuuuuge weight off of my shoulders. I am by no means done with work in general for the semester...no, I've got my fair share left, what with my crazy medical geography professor (who inexplicably HATES trees) handing out reading and quizzes like candy on Halloween, and everything else. It's ok though. One day at a time. So anyway, this weekend was all about sleep and doing nothing, with a bit of work thrown in. But after the school-intensive week I had work was a blessing--you see, I don't have to think at work. Thursday Jaclyn and I went downtown with Owen and his friends for his roommate's birthday, and I stayed out way too late (once again, I am an idiot). So, Friday I did nothing and went to bed around 11:30, getting a much-needed and well-deserved 12 full hours of sleep. Saturday night Monica, Lindsay, Jaclyn and I just hung out at Owen's drinking, and had a shot when the clock turned over to one o'clock for a second time. Yay for the end of daylight savings and an extra hour of sleep!!! And now I plan to continue to spend my lazy Sunday (song lyric courtesy of Stars™) on the couch, and maybe take a shower because I am in dire need. Yuck. In closing I leave you with one of the introductory paragraphs to my history paper (the introduction was 3 pages long....yeeeeah) which I think sounds remarkably like the beginning of a Star Wars movie. I didn't mean to do it, I swear.

This sense of restlessness and fear was worsened by the state of the Church, the one institution that had always been seen as a model of constancy in Medieval Europe. In the mid-eleventh century, a schism occurred in the papacy and higher levels of the church. This led to a string of antipopes and multiple splinter groups, some negligible and some quite powerful, which caused further turmoil on the continent. Meanwhile, in the East, the powerful Islamic force of the Seljuk Turks was advancing on the Byzantine Empire, the eastern realm of Christianity. This threatening force was slowly but surely encroaching into Byzantine territory, causing mounting tensions for Emperor Alexius I and the Eastern Christians. In 1095, Alexius called upon his fellow Christian rulers in the West for support against the “heathen” Saracens. Thus the scene was set for Pope Urban II, who saw in this cry for help an opportunity to once again unite East and West under the Vatican’s supreme authority, and heal the 40-year schism the Church had been suffering through.

A few random thoughts on my break....

All day long today I've been type-type-typing away on my little Apple, trying to complete my 20 page paper on a primary source from the First Crusade which is due at 3pm tomorrow (approx. 18 hours away and counting). I'm on page 11, which I figured was a good enough stopping point, seeing as I've got all night to finish up and I'm already pretty sure I'm going to go over the 20 page limit, so there will be no need to scrounge for more to say--just edit and shorten. I'm long-winded, to say the least, as this blog has probably begun to prove. So anyway, I'd like to take a moment and just discuss with you the wonders of a little drug I like to call Adderall. Ah, Adderall, the mere mention of this teeny orange delight enlarges my pupils and sets my brain to work. Adderall, when you get right down to it, is legalized speed, and boy does it work miracles when you're in crunch time. It has literally made me WANT to do work...when I take a small break to do something frivolous like look out the window or go to the bathroom or, you know, eat, I immediately wonder why I'm not writing about Fulcher of Chartres' point of view on the Battle of Antioch (or the like). Writing this blog entry right now is only acceptable because I am actually typing something, and thinking about what to say. As long as I'm typing, reading, or thinking about something, I'm OK. It also puts me in a pretty good mood, which is great, although the thought of coming down tomorrow worries me a little. I suppose that could be a downside, along with the excessive sweating which seems to be taking place under my arms for some reason. Well, I guess now I understand why speed addicts get so much done. Or do they? I'm not sure, I don't know any speed addicts. Just Adderall addicts.

On another note, my shower is a tool of the devil. Those of you have attempted to use it will know that there is absolutely NO happy medium in the temperature spectrum. You either feel as if you're on the surface of the sun or you're being pelted with icicles. And this is not just at peak usage times...I just got done taking a shower at 7pm, and I could not get the temperature right. Now last I checked, 7pm was certainly NOT prime shower-taking time. Prime dinner-eating time? Sure. Prime Daily Show rerun-watching time? Of course! But prime showering time? Absolutely not. This is the excuse, however, that my apartment managers have given to me in the past. "Oh gee, I bet you just shower at the same time as everyone else, too bad, nothing we can do! Hope you don't turn up boiled like a lobster in your own tub!"

Lastly, this 20 page paper is pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. The problem is, no one who I care about will ever actually want to read it, considering I'm the only one I know interested in the First Crusade and the writers of the Middle Ages. Well, that's not entirely true, but I know that none of my friends are going to want to read 20 pages they're not required to by school or some other life-determining force. Alas. And so, on that note, it's back to work I go. Watch out Raymond of Aguilers, here I come.

Duuuuude I got soooooo wasted this weekend....

If I never hear that phrase uttered again by some brainless frat boy sitting behind me in class I could die happy....but I did get wasted this weekend, and it is a pretty good story, so I'm gonna go ahead and tell you guys about it (You guys? Who am I talking to? WHATEVER). Soooo, let's get this thing started. Friday, Morgan (best friend ever) came into town, which I had been looking forward to for a while. Friday night we ended up just staying in, which doesn't sound like much fun, but had you been there you would have gotten it. Or maybe not--that was the debate of the night, which of our friends would get it and which wouldn't. This is vague and pretty uninteresting unless you know what I'm talking about, so I'll move on. Saturday night was Jaclyn's big 21st birthday bash at our apartment, which ended up being totally crazy. People sort of trickled in, but by the time the party got really underway I, Monica, Jaclyn, Lindsay and Morgan were all wasted already. By 1am or so our apartment was practically bursting with people, the drinks were flowing and the fun really began. Oh, I forgot to mention that it was a costume party, which just made it all the more fun....the prize for best costume in my opinion either goes to John, who was a French maid (complete with nappy wig, lacy thigh highs, and unnecessarily long eyelashes) or Owen, who was Quailman (remember Doug, the cartoon? He even wore his whitey-tighties outside his pants, tee hee!). The prize for most inappropriate costume goes to Ellis, who was AIDS (don't ask) and the prize for most historically accurate costume goes to Terah and her boyfriend, who were the Rosenbergs. I was Carmen Miranda (AKA the Chiquita banana lady) and boy did I look retarded. Hot of course, but retarded. A pile of fruit on the head doesn't exactly scream class and sophistication. Probably the weirdest occurrence of the whole night was when Ellis decided it would be a good idea to drag John in his French maid get-up all the way down to Far West (a few blocks down from my apartment) in the middle of the party to try and see if he could prostitute him out. John was none too thrilled by the idea but went along with it for some time, until he got sick of it and drunkenly started running back to the apartment. On his way he fell off the sidewalk and slammed into the street, badly scraping up his face, knees and shoulder. Ellis came in and asked for some alcohol for John, to which I replied that there was a bucket full of trashcan punch in the kitchen. He meant rubbing alcohol, obviously. Doh. The morning after was almost as much fun as the party, minus the massive clean up. I love waking up when people sleep over after a party, and everyone is still drunk and just acting silly. Jaclyn, John, Morgan, Monica, and Owen were all here and as we cleaned I laughed and laughed about everything. However, it was the messiest scene I've ever witnessed, I think our apartment could have literally qualified for federal aid. We wet-swiffered 3 times, and the floor is still sticky. Oh, I forgot to mention the fact that for the last 2 hours of the party I was violently puking...stupid jello shots. But that makes me feel like a wimp, so forget I said anything. I still had a ton of fun and it was all worth it. Yay parties!!!!

School and work make Laura something something...

Go fucking insane? Don't mind if I do!! Yeah. 20 page paper due on Wednesday, and I haven't started writing yet. I mean, I've got it outlined and stuff. That's good, right? I'm more stressed now than I've ever been at any other time in my life, and it's starting to get to me. I can't drink coffee anymore, I guess I overdosed and now it gives me an upset stomach and terrible jitters. I get heartburn when I eat/drink too much acidic stuff. I am sleepy alot, and more irritable. I cry at random times. Well, not so much the last one, but I often FEEL like crying. Man, I just made my life sound really shitty right now. It's not really...I still have fun with my friends and I always try and look on the bright side of things, whenever possible. I just start whistling the song from the end of Life of Brian and my problems seem to float away. But really, in all seriousness, music does help a lot, whether it acts as a cathartic thing (Sigur Ros) or an empowering thing (Rilo Kiley) or a fuck it all, let's just rock thing (Pumpkins). That's why it sucks pretty hard that my shitty shitty iPod decided to erase all of my songs from itself today. More like iDouchebag!! Aw, that wasn't funny. I need to stop now, and write about the First Crusade. PEACE OUT.

Oscillating

I've been thinking about the word "oscillate" a lot lately (yeah, I know, shut up), and how it's basically just taking up unnecessary space in our dictionaries. First of all, it's far too complicated-sounding for what it means--a back and forth motion. Secondly, it's only ever used in reference to ONE thing--a fan. Have you ever, EVER used "oscillating" to describe anything except a fan? I'll answer for you: no. never. never ever. So, I advocate a total removal of the word oscillate from all fan packages (because that's the only place it's used), to be replaced by the phrase "this thing moves back and forth, unless you don't want it to in which case you can turn off the back and forth function". problem solved.

Hey, I promised you pointless thoughts, and I've delivered, no?

Hey, look at me! I'm a BLOGGER.

So, this is weird. I never thought I'd get caught up in the exciting world of typing out my pointless thoughts on a website for everyone out in cyberspace to not care about. I feel like the blog name accurately portrays me in every aspect though, so that's good. Plus it's a Smashing Pumpkins lyric, which is dandy. By the way, I use hyperbolic expressions of self-praise in the hopes that maybe--just maybe--someone will eventually agree with me, raising my self-esteem to uncharted heights. Tee hee!